KOELLERER wrote:Lately, i ve tried to understand women. The more i tried, the less successful i ve been. It's just like a damn maze inside them... What i did get though is that they tend to actually "learn" to love more than men. They get attached to us more than we can get to them. They get used to us and stay with us, even if after a while they don't love us anymore.
On the oppossite side, from my experience, men fall in love quickly after meeting a girl(sexual attraction or love at first sight- the second more and more rare). Since this subject wasn't discussed in here, i got two questions: is it worth it to wait for a girl if you ve fallen in love like a madman for her(considering she gives you a sign to wait) and how far would you go in order to be with a girl you feel you ve fallen in love to? Is it worth it trusting a woman? Please, jayl0ve or any other joker- i need no funny answer for these...
i've been married for 10 years now bro, so not sure how current I am - was a 'busy' chappie before I met my wife though. In my 'rambling' years, I had quite a few short-term relationships, and a small number of more serious ones - I don't know if I learned much, but it did always seem to be the case that with the serious relationships, I fell quickly and totally 'in love' - they all failed for various reasons - two common factors - me, and the fact that they failed...oh, and the relationships developed and moved too far too fast.
My wife on the other hand - we met and were friends for several weeks - got to know each other and all that lot - then the romance developed, then we married - been bumps and all that, but we're happy together and are lucky to have a very real, very adult relationship.
I think that both relationship-types (the quick and fast-burn, and the slower, long-burn) are actually equally prone to failure or success (equal probability if you will), but it's been my experience that because the things that initially are attractive in the relationship change over time, the quick/fast-burn ones fail more than the slow-burn ones, simply because the accelerated 'rate'/nature of the relationship doesn't allow time for the couple to accomodate those changing factors.
you clearly recognise that men and women, while wanting the same fundamental things from a coupling, have slightly different emphasis on the priority of these things - this is cool and nothing to be concerned about, once you're aware of it, so you're ahead of the game there man.
I don't know man - it's difficult to generalise - every relationship is subtly different - its not about perfection, just about what's as good as can be for the two people involved.
To give you my answer - yes, taking into account the considerable ego-risk and everything else, it is definitely worth trusting a woman - wholly and completely - you can do nothing else - if it doesn't work out, at least, and despite the cost, you can't say you didn't give it a hundred percent. On the other hand, many relationships are destroyed or severely handicapped when one or both people fail to trust sufficiently in the first place.
Also - the paradigm you describe, where women 'learn to love', whereas men fall quickly and hard? I've seen and experienced both - I don't think either are exclusive or even skewed in favour of either gender - may well be off with that, but that's my take.
sounds like you've picked up some scars/bruises bro - sorry to hear if that's the case. take some advice from an old soldier though - brush yourself off, write a few pages in a journal about the experience (get it out of your head basically), and move on - easily said I know : )
all best and happy christmas and stuff,
rich
love does crazy things to a person. Look at how you describe how she makes you feel. She brings the madman out of you....... you have to trust someone other than yourself at some point so why not trust someone like her.
good luck with that---just remember the golden rule...