by Cro Morgan » Wed, 04 Jul 2012 05:03
Australian Open
Shouldn't even be a Grand Slam. Too damn early in the year. The best players typically win, as always, but they do so with chubby legs and a belly full of Christmas turkey. Not pretty.
Wimbledon
Behind the times. Tradition is nice, I guess, but the tournament is too damn stuffy. Lose the "wear white," "11pm curfew" and "no Sunday tennis" BS -- and the bowing to imaginary princes and princesses, yeh, you can dump that crap too.
Roland Garros
Tennis shouldn't even be played on clay. Back in the day, okay, no choice, but now we can groom grass and manufacture DecoTurf. Come to think of it, tennis shouldn't be played on grass either. What is this? The 18th century? Grow up tennis.
US Open
The best of the bunch. No grass. No clay. Tennis at three in the morning. Fights in the stands. The only rule that would make this tournament better: "loser of point must drink shot." Yeh buddy!